Since being married, I’ve learned a lot. Being married and in a foreign country adds pressure to the cooker that is a long-term, committed relationship. One of the things I’ve been realizing more and more is that marriage, I think more than almost anything, is about knowing and being known. It is a beautiful reflection of our relationship with God in that those innermost places that you don’t even know exist are slowly revealed over time. Unfortunately I’ve found that those places are pretty ugly (mostly Adam. just kidding…). But through knowing and being known we feel more and more comfortable revealing more. I think that if I had learned all Adam’s ugly at once before we got married, I would have run as fast as I could the other way, and vice versa. It’s gotta be sloooow… but it’s empowering in a way. Being known gives an accountability not possible in any other situation, to know that this other person that you love deeply knows an ugly part of you is huge motivation for trying to change it.
So then we “change” over and over, thinking we’ve leveled up and finished dealing with a problem that keeps coming up because really we’re exactly like the child who’s too young to realize that just because he can’t see something doesn’t mean it’s not there. Maybe one day we’ll figure it out. In the meantime, we will continue to grow and to know each other.
This marriage thing is hard.
In other news, we have new videos up at http://www.youtube.com/thelastcityband! Enjoy!